I was brought up and spent most of my life in a small village in Scotland. I still live nearby - only a 20minute drive in fact, and now live in a slightly bigger 'town'. However the mentality of the majority/minority (not really sure which) of the residents is still the same.
Where I grew up is one of my favourite places to be. It's tiny, has several pubs, takeaways and a supermarket and that's about it - along with the essentials; doctors, dentists, pharmacy and a primary school and high school. There is little, to nothing, to do, but it holds lots of happy memories for me. My parents still live there and most of the rest of my close family. I know all the ins and outs of it like the back of my hand. It also has the best sweet shop known to man.
So when I mention the 'mentality' of the people who live there, and beyond, I obviously don't mean everyone, as I know that is far from the truth. The issue I have, and always had, is the reluctance from people who live in a close knit community to think beyond the end of the road.
When I was a teenager I was obsessed with art, and waiting on the bus to college every morning laden with folders, tins of paint and reams of paper, i could pretty much guarantee I'd get a comment about why I was dressed the way I was (i favoured the dungaree for painting..), what was I bothering with 'doodling' for, how it wasn't a 'career' and what on earth did my parents think about all this. I always found the parents one in particular quite laughable- as if going to college to pursue something you love doing is somehow something my parents should've been disgusted with;
'Rick have you seen this? She's going to college, on time -AGAIN! I'd much rather see our daughter wile away her days in a crack den, wouldn't you agree?'
The issue with trying to defend your decisions to relative strangers is that I would normally always come across as looking like I was trying to be 'better' than I am and why should I? Whats wrong with where you live now? Eh? EH? I would be looked on as a bit snobby.
My mum once experienced this attitude to her dismay, walking along the main street. She was wearing a long winter coat and had just come from Sunday mass. A woman/man (again not quite sure which..) stopped in front of her and muttered, "Who does she think she is?" I am still to this day, raging about this. I can let go (eventually) of someone talking to me in that way, but who are YOU to talk to my mother like that? My mum is too soft and will not stick up for herself in this sort of scenario. She just came home and fumed then got upset and self conscious. This is when my blood begins to boil over and I become a mild mannered and female version of the incredible hulk. I regularly embarrass my mum if we are out and about by looking with disgust at someone who's just looked at me in a similar way, or worse, (for her), questioning what the purpose of/reason for said 'look' was in the first place. Then again is that me sticking up for myself or lowering my standards to their level? Who do I think I am?!
Ive never understood why others have to take such an interest in how someone else is dressed, what they have chosen to do with their lives or their preferred choice of cat food. For one it's completely mundane. Get on with your own life and try to remember that the world is rather a large place and there is wonder to be discovered if you make the distance three yards from your front door.
It's nice to be nice and you never know, making someone smile rather than making them want to stick a knife in your back may even make you smile too. X
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